Natalie....our 1 in 200.

Sorry we've been absent for a week! Good grief...it isn't as if we don't have material!

Many of you know that our Natalie has broken ALL the rules since birth. You know the books you read that say, "This works in 98% of cases." ? Or "Approximately 98% respond positively to this."? Well, Natalie IS the other 2%.

"Colic ends at about 4 months"...not for Natalie, hers lasted at least 6 months.

"Rarely do babies give up nursing; it tends to be mom that gives up"...not Natalie, she turned her head and screamed at 7 months, never to nurse again.

"In 99.5% of babies, tear ducts open naturally, within the first year of life."...you got it, not Natalie. She is 1 out of 200 that will require artificial help.

So, in less than two weeks, our precocious little spitfire will be put under general anesthesia and a pediatric ophthalmologist will do his thing and give those little tear ducts the boost they need. We've known this was coming. Her eyes are ALWAYS teary. People comment ALL THE TIME. "Oh, she's been crying!" or "Look at those alligator tears." But, you see, when your tear ducts are blocked, the natural liquid that forms in your eyes has nowhere to go. In adults (and most children), our tears drain back into the tear ducts and into our nasal passages. So unless there is an excess of fluid, like when you're actually crying, your eyes really shouldn't drip onto your face. Poor Natalie. We have countless pictures of our big-smiled girl with drippy eyes. It really does look pathetic, but it has never seemed to bother her. So, like I said, we knew this was coming.

BUT...it became very real yesterday when we visited the pediatric ophthalmologist and he did the tests necessary to prove the problem, then escorted us into the office to make the appointment for SURGERY! Surgery? Seriously? Could we NOT use that word? Apparently there are no knives or scalpels needed in Nat's "procedure;" they enter through the tear ducts and clear out the duct using a balloon-kind-of-thing. You know, it goes in uninflated, then they inflate it to open up the duct passage. The doctor actually said, "We usually don't even need to give pain meds in these surgeries." Okay dude, I'm hearing you, just please don't use the word "surgery" when referring to my 13-month-old ever again. I-think-I-might-be-hyperventilating.

Of course, there are possible "complications." Of course! When are there NOT possible complications? And, please refer to the beginning of my post, remember our Natalie IS the other 2%. PLEASE do not tell me that you see "complications" in about 2% of cases, because I'm pretty sure I'll start screaming right here in your fancy office.

He wisely did not share any stats, but calmly informed me that the ducts can "re-collapse," but if that happens, it would happen during the "procedure" and they would then insert stints (kind of like ear tubes) to keep the ducts open. The tubes would then be removed (in the office - no surgery necessary) a few months later. That's complication #1. No big deal...it makes a 15 minute "procedure" into a 30-40 minute "procedure" and doesn't carry any additional risks. The other complication that can occur is if the child contracts a sinus infection or bad cold within 2-3 months AFTER the procedure. Sometimes (I'm sure it's something like 2%) the ducts will re-collapse if the cold occurs too close to the "procedure." In this case, we would have to start from scratch and do the thing all over again.

My nerves just can't take this. Seriously. What if one of our amazingly healthy children wasn't so amazingly healthy? Yesterday made me even more grateful that this is the biggest "procedure" we've had to face.

So, you need to pray for us. The nurse was trying to calm my nerves, so she started telling me that Natalie will not be upset when they TAKE HER FROM ME, because they will give her meds that make her loopy and happy. Okay, so thanks for putting that image in my head. My thought processes had not even gone to the here's-my-child-for-you-to-cut-into stage. THANKS. A. LOT. Now it's the only image that keeps coming back...she may not be crying, but I still have to watch them take her away! Are you kidding me?

Oh and get this! Her procedure is not until 1:00 PM in the afternoon because this doc only operates in our hospital on Tuesday afternoons. That's all fine and dandy until they tell you that your 13-month-old cannot eat after midnight the night before! That, my friends, is going to be one-heck-of-a-long-day. You see, Natalie has discovered the pantry. And she simply loves it. How are we going to distract her from eating? And did I mention that she usually still has a mini-bottle in the middle of the night? Good grief.

Any suggestions would be appreciated. And please, please, please, don't write in the comments, "We'll be praying for Natalie's SURGERY." Because, I swear, if I hear that word again I'm going to puke. Or scream. Or cry. Yep, definitely one of those.